By: Catherine Lussenhop

While he's in New York for the U.N. conference, Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi is traveling with an entourage of 50 attractive female bodyguards. The guards are there in case Qaddafii gets attacked or in case he wants to make a music video from 1985. --Conan O'Brien

Did you hear President Obama's speech about nuclear proliferation? It was impressive. It's nice to have a president who can pronounce nuclear, isn't it? --David Letterman

Some good gossip. There's a new book out about Barack and Michelle Obama's marriage. And in it, they say that Michelle Obama was very upset by all these drooling blonds who would push up to her husband and rub themselves up against him. They said this. One blonde was especially suggestive and kept rubbing up against the President. And finally, Michelle said, “Look, Chris Matthews, get away from my husband.” --Jay Leno

Libya's President Muammar Qaddafi gave a lengthy tirade to the U.N. General Assembly today. He was supposed to talk for 15 minutes but went on a 90-minute rant instead. I mean, where is Kanye when you need him? --Jimmy Fallon

Right now in Washington, D.C., they're holding something called the Values Voters Summit. This is a gathering of conservative activists at the Omni Hotel. During the day, they get together and talk about values and politics, and then at night, they sneak hookers up to their hotel rooms. --Jimmy Kimmel

Speaking of former President Bush, according to a new book that's coming out, former President Bush secretly supports gay marriage. Bush said, “If Bert and Ernie can make it work, anyone can.” --Conan O'Brien

It's the 8th anniversary of 9/11, and Americans today stopped doing whatever they were doing to sit there, reflect, do nothing, say nothing, just like Bush did eight years ago when he got the news. --Bill Maher

Back when George Bush was president, Democrats in Congress, to be fair, would occasionally go “Boooo!” But President Bush never took it personally, he just thought Congress was haunted. --Craig Ferguson

The big news was the Senate yesterday - the finance committee - rejected the Democrats' health-care plan, the one with the public option. Meanwhile, the Republicans are offering their own health-care plan. It's called, “Stop Crying and Take an Advil.” --Jimmy Fallon

People in Alaska are looking forward to Sarah Palin's memoir. They're already calling it “The Book to Nowhere." --David Letterman

Today, President Obama spoke at the G-20 global economic summit in Pittsburgh. He warned that if the world economy does not get better, next year's summit will also be in Pittsburgh. --Jay Leno