By: Catherine Lussenhop

President Obama today agreed to commit an additional 40,000 troops to help fight Fox News. --Jay Leno

Did you see what happened to Rush Limbaugh? He wanted to buy the St. Louis Rams and they wouldn't let him. He said this was a dream he had, to some day own black people. --Bill Maher

On Thursday, a boy hid in a box. So I guess that was a faster way to tell that story. --Seth Meyers on the “Balloon Boy” hoax

A big blockbuster movie this weekend, “Where the Wild Things Are,” yeah. I think it's like a big Imax movie and it's supposed to be for kids. I don't know, by the end of the movie, all of the wild things have been hunted and shot by Sarah Palin. --David Letterman

A new survey found that the average man cries about six times a year. That number would be a lot lower if it weren’t for Glenn Beck. --Jimmy Fallon

President Obama went to New Orleans today to check up on the rebuilding efforts after Hurricane Katrina. When President Bush heard about it, he said, “There was a hurricane in New Orleans?" --Jay Leno

Last night, the White House hosted a tribute to Latin music. President Obama wiggled his hips a little on the dance floor at which point a committee in Sweden immediately awarded him a Latin Grammy. --Conan O'Brien

Hey, President Barack Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize. How about that? Meanwhile, right now at an Arizona senior citizens center, John McCain is screaming, “Bingo!” --David Letterman

And starting today, we get the swine flu vaccination. Doctors are set to receive the vaccination first, because they're the only ones who can still afford to go see the doctor. --Craig Ferguson

The Nobel Prize for lack of chemistry went to John McCain and Sarah Palin. --David Letterman